When people tell me that the much fabled urban myth, aka the lie-on, will come my way again, I get all excited. When will it? When will the 5am wake-ups end? I’m told when they’re teenagers. Fek that. That’s too far ahead for me. But this week I got a brief glimpse of it. There were two mornings where 8am loomed and the school goer was still comatose under his duvet cocoon. And why wouldn’t he be; in his nicely dimmed and cool bedroom? The first morning we had to make the journey to the school gates ourselves. The second, we caught the bus by the skin of our teeth. The gloriously long summer evenings were taking their toll. I know in my heart of hearts that the weekend mornings will not pan out like this. I also suspect growth spurts played their part in the burn outs. Never ones for big meals, the Screecher Creatures prefer to graze, but this week they took it to a whole different level. There were endless demands for Rice Krispies, batch bread with jam, cheese strings, toasted ham and cheese sandwiches, yogurts, (they ate more than 20 this week!) croissants, and pancakes. Suits me. I’d rather provide unlimited small meals that require no cooking than slave over an oven when the weather is this perfect. Isn’t it great? And the smell of sun block! It’s a quint essential summer component. The Screechers get a kick out of making “zombie arms” while I rub on the cream. They don’t know themselves in the morning when all they have to put on is a t-shirt and shorts. Screecher Creature No. 4 is finally without those long sleeved vests and is free to crawl around in the dirt outside the back door. It means a bath or a shower every night now as dust and dirt sticks to the sunblock and they end up with dirty sweaty streaks on their faces. A sure sign they’re having fun. Today I inflated a girly pink, disappointingly small paddling pool and tipped in a couple of saucepans of water. I left it on the decking for them to do what they wished with it. It really was ridiculously small but it served as a splashing area for Screecher Creature No. 4. The warm weather is great, although driving a car with broken windows is no fun. The passenger windows can be manually wound down but Screecher Creature No. 3 dislikes his Bridget Jones “do” as a result of the incoming breeze. There is a tiny downside to the good weather as anyone with hay fever will attest to. Last summer saw us at A&E with Screecher Creature No. 1 who suffered an asthma attack as a result of his hay fever. So we’re road testing a new cure. I’m going the homeopathic route as I am not thrilled with syringing 10mls of gunk into him every day for the next couple of months. It’s also looking like Screecher Creatures No.’s 2 and 3 might have a touch of it too. This week I have been trying and failing miserably to complete a 7k circuit in an effort to go for the 10k. I managed it one night but it was a struggle from beginning to end and I did not enjoy one minute of it. The next night I decided before leaving the house that I wasn’t even going to try; I would just do the short run. Which I did but again, it was sheer drudgery. It’s only a 4k circuit and it normally takes me 20 minutes. What’s that all about? Maybe I need to drink more water during the day. How and ever, I was delighted to discover that I still managed to shed another pound this week. Something else that cemented itself in my mind; kids don’t need toys to play with. Mine certainly don’t which is a very good thing indeed as they don’t possess too many. A big bin of blocks is the only thing that has survived several demolition derbies in this house. I promised them a long time ago, that when the good weather arrives, they can play with water to their hearts’ content. See, I was banking on the good weather never arriving. I thought I was safe. The Screecher Creatures knocked huge enjoyment out of some empty Mr. Muscle bottles this week. Thanks to the misting spray nozzle the water didn’t run out too quickly so I wasn’t driven demented with requests for refills and didn’t have to hunt them out of the bathroom as I normally would when they decide to do such jobs themselves. Keep all of your plastic bottles. Great fun to be had. And if you’re lucky, they’ll water your flowers while they’re at it! It seemed to be Screecher Creature No. 2’s week. He was most excited by the fact I attended a school meeting for his attendance there in September. He thinks that time won’t come quick enough. How do I tell him this is going to be for the rest of his life? He will forever be governed by the clock on the wall now. And true to form, he had some interesting questions that required answers. It’s just a pity he chose me to answer them. He wanted to know: What is the first time? (Of what I don’t know) What is the first day? (I think he meant of the week, definitely nothing theological) How long is a second? (He just looked at me blankly when I clicked my fingers to show him). And last but definitely not least, the most popular question in our house; Why? I’d make a better attempt at explaining the Fiscal Treaty yokey. He was also very interested to see me eat chocolate. It’s not like it was the first time and when I turned the tables on the question and answers session and enquired of him was I not allowed, he seemed to think grown-ups “don’t eat chocolate.” Daniel son, you have a lot to learn. There was a school tour as well for Screecher Creature No. 1. Excitement was high but I suspected from the offset it was due to the probable contents of a bigger lunchbox than the tour location itself. I was reminded several times about the need to bring an extra drink, a raincoat, and sun cream. All of this, naturally, went right out the window this morning. The same boy is also delighted with his recent ability to shinny up the washing line pole and dangle there for as long as his arms will allow. He believes it’s as a result of eating chicken. I’m going to try a green vegetable next week and tempt him onto the roof of the house. “It’s my third skill, Mammy. “ He informed me. I asked. Well, you have to, don’t you? “My first skill,” he took a breath and I swear he grinned at me, “is farting.” (or faaartin’) “And my second one is burpin’. CV material to be sure. In fact I think there is a whole other blog post in that one!