I AM no stranger to relapse. I’ve suffered many.
A running relapse where I run for 3 weeks and take the next 5 off. Completely undoing all of my good work in the process.
A shouting relapse where I try very very hard for the eleventy millionth time not to shout at the kids. I’m cruising along, nodding and agreeing with everything they say and then bam!
One of them fires something at me and it almost takes the eye out of my head. The dog runs for cover under the table and the boys’ expressions range from smirking to sullen as the shouting commences.
The sugar relapse where I try half-heartedly to ignore the opened packet of treats in the press. I last about two hours before I devour them.
Then there’s the potty training relapse. My first one. Just to clarify – I am not the nappy wearer, it is my three and a half year old. Just in case you didn’t know that.
It is my first nappy relapse and I don’t quite know what to make of it. I’ve read about this and I admit to feeling a little smug, confident such a thing would not happen to me. So when it did I was totally and utterly clueless about how to deal with it. And I had chucked the magazine.
Smallest Boy nailed his wee wee’s in a matter of hours. Hours I tell you. He’s great at it and thoroughly delighted with himself. This week he used several toilets because the potty was in the car. Everyone in all of the shops got to hear about this. He even looked for a high five from a confused older lady.
Then he went two days without doing a poo. I will refrain from regaling you with regular elimination habits but prior to Pottygate you could have set your watch by this child.
Poo’s won’t work in the potty or the toilet. They just won’t.
Now, we’re back to the nappies albeit for a very short period of time every 36 hours or so until elimination happens. Oh, and they have to have a caiman on the front of them.
Not the red sports car pull ups I bought. Not the cute little ones with hedgehogs on them.
The Lidl ones with a caiman on the front. Only they will
What was I saying the last time? Oh yes.
Dear Múinteoir, please excuse Smallest Boy and his nappies. He does not have incontinence issues nor is there an undiagnosed bowel problem. He just likes his waste catcher. You might like to take him in hand because I’ve given up.