Monday 1 September 2014

Fek! Shoes! Arse!

WHEN my lovely sister-in-law was sorting out holidays this year, she had only one question for me:  “Is there any time that doesn’t suit you to go?”

I asked her to book in July as I like to keep August free to do the school stuff shop.  In other words, if there is any money left over my kids might get new shoes and nice jumpers for school.

This is where I am forced to admit I am a gobshite.  A large, thundering gobshite. 

Note to future self:  there is nothing left in August.  There never is.  You won’t even get a red pen.

With three boys going to school this year I am mindful of one thing:  getting a bargain something as close as possible to this is free!

The youngest has such flat feet you wouldn’t be able to slide a piece of paper underneath them so he lucked out and got the ”good” shoes to support his arches.

The others have to make do with ones made out of layers of newspaper and painted black. 

I’m joking.

They’ll get the health board footwear.  Ones with Velcro straps.

I will be at my limit in the mornings to get them all up, fed, dressed and into the car.  I don’t need to lace up three pairs of shoes as well.  There is an excellent chance that my boys just might reach puberty without having learnt how to tie their shoelaces. 

I am sure they'll cope.

So my question is: why in the name of god, when the school gates were almost open for business, was it so difficult to buy halfway decent, no need to pay through the nose shoes for boys? 

Or school books?  “Sorry, that particular one is sold out.  But you can order online.”

*Yes but you need fekin money in your account to do that!* 

You’re in need of a red pen that costs 45c?  Tough shit.  Why didn’t you get your act together and buy it a month ago? 

With everything else?  Like everyone else?

I know it’s not like Back to School ™ creeps up on you and you get 48 hours notice but come one!

We’re all watching our wallets and being frugal in order to purchase other stuff.  Like wine  food and oil for the autumn.  You know, because no-one likes to be cold and hungry.    

After several hours of fruitless searching and feeling extremely frustrated, I asked Mister Husband, “What’s the point?” 

Is it really worth it?  By the time you drive to the various counties (yes, we did that) and spend ages coaxing/threatening the kids to try on countless pairs of shite shoes, would it not save a lot of hassle to just go and buy the well-known branded ones in our home town?

But at a saving of over €150 last year on footwear alone, that is just a little bit too much wine money  grocery funds to forfeit for the sake of time and grumpy parents and kids.

So come on local department stores.  There are loads of parents out there looking for shoes and a bargain. Pony up for god sake.

Where’s your competitive spirit?

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