Monday, 30 December 2013

The Time Santy Messed Up

Pic credit.  Stick Man Book

 So Santy messed up.  The big feker.  Imagine!  I thought it was bad enough years ago when he gave me a First Love doll instead of the Tiny Tears one I requested *at the last minute* and my mother told me Andrea down the road got the last one. 

Bah humbug!

I have since learned that Andrea down the road got Susie Swims (never heard of her) and she felt equally as hard done by.

Anyway, Saturday 28th December was the day I decided to take down the decorations.  I know.  I know.  I believe I said bah humbug already.

I was putting the smaller pieces back into storage and underneath a black bag I saw an item that looked suspiciously like a Power Rangers thing.

Bearing in mind on Christmas Eve when Mister Husband and I had our Santy on, Mister Husband cast a critical eye at Lovey Liam’s pile and declared it to be “smaller than the others.  It looks crap.”

pic credit.  Stick Man book

I shushed him and said he would be delighted with his other Power Rangers yoke that has fifteen inter-changeable heads.  He’d love it. Trust me.  He will zone in on that and everything else will be forgotten.

Looks like it wasn’t the only thing that was forgotten for there in front of me on Saturday December 28th 2013 was a Power Ranger scooter.



What to do.

Would we get away with it three days later?  Would we be lynched by the others over the extra gift factor and, most importantly, would Lovely Liam swallow it?

We decided to give it a go.

And whaddaya know.

He swallowed it.  Hook, line and scooter.

Picture Credit:  Stick Man

The others took one look at the extra gift and swiftly returned to fighting over couch space and TV rights. 

I blame Santy.  Entirely.  He was obviously imbibing on the Irish leg of his journey.

picture credit:  Stick Man

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Christmas Day. How Did You Spend Yours?

  1. Christmas Eve.  Got my Santa on.  Great fun.  Unpacked Henry the hoover and discovered I was short a set of batteries.  After all my warnings.
  2. Ignored Mister Husband’s advice about leaving something small at the foot of their bed.
  3. Off to bed.  Funny smell.  Fling back covers to discover dog had peed all over the duvet.  Twice.   Put cover in the wash and duvet outside for the bin.
  4. 2am. Woken by screams of delight.  “Look what I found!”  “Look what Santy left me!”
  5. Almost cried.  Maybe did a little bit.
  6. Didn’t care that it was officially Christmas day.  Unearthed my bah humbug face, issued mild threats and packed them all back into their beds.
  7. 7am.  Now it’s Christmas day.
  8. Lots of pictures.  Lots of presents.  Lots of joy.
  9. Went for a run.  Had the whole world to myself on a gorgeous, frosty, crispy Christmas morning.
  10. Shower.  Dressed.  Poached eggs for breakfast.
  11. Messed about with the kids and admired (again) what Santy brought them.
  12. Dinner.  Wine.  Leg of lamb.  “Pink meat” for the boys (ham). More wine.  Viennetta and sherry trifle.
  13. Helped with Lego and a Trash Pack Science kit.
  14. Box of chocolates in front of lots of The Big Bang Theory. 
  15. Watched Tangled curled up with Lovely Liam and Smallest Boy.
  16. Day almost over now.  Time for a G&T I think.  
Christmas Day.  How did you spend yours?

Monday, 23 December 2013

A Few Christmas Crackers!

Christmas Day is just around the corner.  Only two sleeps away, in fact.  Can you stand it?  Can your kids?

Pretty soon we will all be sitting down to a sumptuous feast and pulling crackers with our nearest and dearest.

Whatever you are doing this year, be safe and with family.  Have a great Christmas and for God sake don’t forget the batteries and the Vienetta!

Here are a few silly jokes to help get you in the spirit of the season.

What did Santa do when he went speed dating?  He pulled a cracker!

Why couldn’t Santa sell Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?  Because they were two deer.

What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas?  Twerky!

Hear about the man who stole an advent calendar?  He got 25 days.

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even!

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?   "Looks like rain, dear."

What does a minion get on Christmas day?  Minions of gifts!

Friday, 20 December 2013

Christmas Interviews

I do feel the true meaning of Christmas has gotten somewhat buried underneath all the commercialism out there.

I’m caught up in it too.

It’s all about the presents and the food and the Santa gifts for the boys. 

The other day a nice lady asked Lovely Liam what was Santy bringing.  Afterwards he asked me why everyone keeps asking him that and not “baba.”  Another time he had on his “not again!” face when yet another person asked him was Santy coming and I had to intervene quickly.

Even the kids are getting fed up with it.

I have asked my lot what they are most looking forward to about Christmas but then it occurred to me they might not actually know what Christmas is about? 

I compiled a little quiz to catch them out test their knowledge.

You got your Christmas holidays from school today.  What was that like?

Oldest Boy:  Really great.  Because I don’t really like school except for Fridays.  I like it on Fridays because we get Am Órga (Golden Time) and we get treats.
Shy Boy:   Good.  Because we didn’t have a full day and got out early.   
Lovely Liam:  Great coz I got a Power Ranger car from Santy today.
Smallest Boy:  Boys did.  We find them in school.

What are you most looking forward to about Christmas?

Oldest Boy:  Holidays from school and presents because I really like toys and I want to have a break from school.
Shy Boy:  My birthday.  It’s after Christmas. 
Lovely Liam:  Getting more presents.  Loads and loads of them.  Maybe even a hundred.
Smallest Boy:  Fall down.  Christmas tree. 

What is Christmas?

Oldest Boy:  It’s a time where God is born and people get presents.
Shy Boy:  It’s Jesus’s birthday on Christmas Day and we have no school.
Lovely Liam:  We get presents.  Because Santy is coming. 
Smallest Boy:  Go to bed coz night time

What colour is Rudolph’s nose and why?

Oldest Boy:  Red.  Because if he didn’t have Rudolph with a red nose he wouldn’t be able to see and he could run into a building or into an electricity pole.
Shy Boy:  Red.  I don’t know why.  Oh wait, it’s because he has a cold! 
Lovely Liam:  Red.  Coz he’s so shiny.  Coz he wants to show Santy his way in the dark.
Smallest Boy:  Black. Pink.  No, pink!  Him just flashes.

And for the final tally.  Just to prove a point. 

The number of times presents were mentioned: 4 times.  Or maybe even a hundred and four times.  Sheesh.  I rest my case. 

In reference to Oldest Boy’s seeming dislike for school, I have no idea what he is talking about; he loves it!  “Can we go in early today?” and “I don’t want to be late,” are regular requests and statements. 

Just so you know, they are rarely late.  Late in our house means pulling up to the school as Múinteoir Sínead is opening the gate.  That may or may not have happened today.

Monday, 16 December 2013

Christmas Countdown

It’s all coming together quite nicely.

The tree went up over the weekend.  We let the kids decorate it and we put the lights on when they were finished.

Great stuff.


The lights are plugged into the same double socket as the fridge freezer.

Two and a half years ago Lovely Liam turned off the same freezer and I discovered it a couple of days later.

Loaves of bread, garlic baguettes, packs of minced beef and one or two grey, thoroughly defrosted chickens plus several bags of mushy, once frozen vegetables all feked into the bin.

I am only scalded with all the jumping up and down to check one of them hasn’t repeated history due to their utter fascination with turning on and off the blinking things.

But at least all the shopping is finished.  At long last.

I picked up the last two bottles of wine yesterday and got everything else wrapped during the week.  The Santa haul is done. 

That’s “done” with a capital D.  All of it under lock and key in an upstairs cupboard.    

It is such a relief to get that far.

I had been running round trying to get everything done so I can relax next week and just soak up some festive spirit.  It was a bit of a frenzy but I did it.

In the same vein, Mister Husband has gone on a finishing blitz.  Anything around the house that needs finishing has been attacked. 

He started a couple of things too.  Like installing two lights outside the back door and ripping open a hole in the kitchen ceiling in order to connect electricity to the new lights.   

And he discovered something.  Something hideous.  Something gross.  Something foul.  Something soft, wet and squishy. 

Something dead.

The foul smell that kept coming and going, the one that refused to be beaten by oil burners, hoovering, dusting or cleaning turned out to be a dead rat in our kitchen ceiling.

If anyone has solutions on how to get rid of the still lingering stench of rodent death, I would be most grateful. 

Did I forget to mention school holidays are now just four sleeps away?  Well, they are.

Thank goodness.