MAYBE it’s the weather but I’ve been a bit tetchy recently. And why on earth would I keep it all to myself? Don’t let anyone tell you to “stop giving out.” We all need a good old whinge and a moan every now and then. These are mine.
Stuff that annoyed me lately.
Pancakes. My first mistake was making them for the boys the first morning back to school after the summer holidays. Guess who’s still making them at 7.30 each day? Aye. That’s right. It means they get a hearty breakfast and it only takes ten minutes to make them but still. I had a right pain in my hoof making them this week. Oh, in case you didn’t catch my answer, it’s me; I’m the chef.
A tummy bug that couldn’t make up its mind. Smallest Boy went down for a few hours with a tummy upset and I held my breath waiting for the others to follow suit. It didn’t happen but my own stomach has been decidedly “fizzy” for a few days. I wish it would decide to stay or fek off! bring it on if that’s the direction you’re heading in and get it over and done with.
Kim bloody Kardashian’s arse. I mean seriously! What in the name of lard is that all about? What particularly annoyed me is an arse like that on anyone else would be used as a photo for an obesity article. Secondly, it’s big enough without it being photo shopped. It so was photo shopped. Again, why? Why would you want your arse photographed? Why? It’s all a load of arse if you ask me!
The smoker at the school gate. I saw you so I did. Not only does the school newsletter, which is published online every month by the way, ask that parents do not smoke at the school gates, but you decided to chuck your dirty cigarette through the railings and into the bushes. Dirty birdy!
The person who blocked the pumps at the petrol station. The lady in front of me had finished and drove away. I was done too and wanted to pull up a pump to allow for someone else to use it when a nifty little car pulled into the vacant space. I wondered how they were going to stretch the fuel pump that far when I realised their fuel tank was on the shop side of their car. Sure, she was only parking up so her fella could go in and browse whilst she had a good aul natter on her mobile. Seethe!
A prize I didn’t win. Even though I suspected it wasn’t a genuine message from the person who ran the competition I still allowed myself to get excited. I mean it was a make-up hamper for fek sake. And I coveted it. My suspicions were confirmed and my excitement firmly squashed when the You Tuber personally confirmed it was a mean spirited person who likes to do this on a regular basis to beauty bloggers who run competitions via YouTube. On the upside I could still win.
Max and Ruby. There are no words. None. Except all the rude ones and being a lady I couldn’t possibly use them. To the lucky uninitiated Max and Ruby are two sibling rabbits who live on Netflix. He’s kinda cute and of few words but she, she is an obnoxious, bossy, self-important, shallow, annoying bitch with sycophantic, spineless friends who are not much better. This is one rabbit I would like to see in a stew except it would choke me.
I know, I’m a grumpy yoke. Don’t give out to me - I hate confrontation. I’ll be better next week. Or some stage. But having spewed all of my annoyances onto paper, I do feel much better.
You should try it!