Monday 30 April 2012

Money Maker

Mister Husband has invented something that is going to make us an absolute fortune.  I am so excited I can’t wait.  It’s going to be brilliant!  When I was younger I was a big fan of Enid Blyton and I think there may have been one in her stories.  I am not familiar at all with the Harry Potter phenomenon but quite possibly he had access to one as well.  But that’s all fiction.  This is Real Life.  I’m going to have to research patenting so no-one else can steal his invention.  What is it you ask?  Well, we’re all sitting here, the way we do of an evening.  Screecher Creature No. 4 has just retired for the night.  The telly is on but the Screecher Creatures are ignoring it, more intent on bouncing around the place and generally making very good use of their second wind.    The noise levels are pretty high.  Mister Husband is reclining on the couch reading his nerd book.  Sorry, very important work book with lots of very big and technical words in it.  He hasn’t turned a page in about ten minutes so I don’t know if he is learning it off by heart or just pretending to read.  He always accuses me of reading too fast and wonders how I can remember anything of what I have just read but I can.    So maybe he is really reading it and just having to concentrate that extra bit harder due to the noise.  I’m sitting here typing away; alternating between a parenting website and checking my messages on Facebook.  The Screecher Creatures are flinging cushions around the place and there have already been a few requests for something to eat.  I instructed them to finish the pancakes that are on the countertop.  A short time later I am informed that the water bottles are empty so I hop up to fill them.  Literally hop up.  I was out for my run earlier on but my ankle is in contrary form since the 5k in the Phoenix Park and I am limping somewhat.   Back into my chair and prop up my foot.  Answer a message on Facebook, accept a friend request.  Love doing that!  A jumping competition begins to see who can leap the furthest from the armchairs.  Mister Husband is keeping awfully quiet behind his book.  Stay with me, it sounds like I’m rambling but it’s all connected.  The invention you see.  The invention.  And then the first casualty happens.  It was only a matter of time really.   Screecher Creature No. 2 miscalculated his jumping distance and half landed on, half fell off the chair.  More pissed off than hurt but it doesn’t stop the fire engine shouting and roaring that ensues.  I’m in the same room as him, literally feet away and he comes running over to tell me what he thinks I didn’t see.  Saying I told you so would only aggravate him further so I do a fumbling “there there” pat on the head, give his cheek a kiss and he’s back off to join in the Armchair Olympics.  SpongeBob Square Pants kicks it up a notch on the telly, the washing machine begins its annoying spin cycle in the background and the lads are laughing manically at something one of them has said.  Pardon me whilst I take Screecher Creature No. 3 to the bathroom.  I’m still trying to get him to go by himself but I think he likes the company.  While we’re in there, something whizzes past my head and hits the wall behind me.  It’s a plastic duck.  It seems the games have changed.  But Mister Husband’s position on the couch hasn’t.  This invention is definitely going to yield us a fortune.   And now for the grand reveal.  Mister Husband’s invention is ……………………an invisible cloak!!!!!!  And next time I get to wear it!!!!  I am also seriously thinking about swopping sides of the bed with Mister Husband in an effort to confuse the Screecher Creatures when they come into our bedroom in the middle of the night.  But I know in my heart and soul they will take one look at Mister Husbands sweetly slumbering face and just come on over to the other side.  Back to me.  I have it on good authority though, that revenge is a dish best serve cold and I will be able to extract mine when they are all teenagers.  That’s if I have any energy left!

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