Say “eeeeeeee.” Say “aaaahhhhh.” Say “awwwwwww.” Now “eeeeeeee” again.
What are we doing? Go on, guess.
Yes! Brushing teeth. Brushing kids teeth to be precise. Holy shit. After doing something twice a day for seven years (ok maybe five) you’d think I would be better at it. Quicker at least.
But still, the nightly and morning instructions go as follows; Open your mouth. I can’t clean your teeth if you don’t open your mouth. Stop ticking your tongue out. Stand still. Take your foot down off me. Stop swinging out of the door. Stop talking. You can tell me when I’m finished. Stop drooling on me. Say awwwwwww a bit louder. Stop sucking the toothbrush. Don’t swallow the toothpaste.
It took me a little while but now I remember to brush their teeth before they leave the house. Any idea how long this takes?
First I’ve got to catch them. No wait, to save time I coat the toothbrushes with age appropriate toothpaste (yes, there is more than one tube of toothpaste) and then stand the brushes up like little soldiers on the sink. Then I have to catch them.
Next I have to make sure each child remains in place by grabbing the V-neck of their jumper and holding them in front of me. If they’d only stop talking about the stone they found or the giant booger they excavated earlier on, I’d have the teeth brushing done in the recommended three minutes per child rather than 20 minutes in total.
If I, as an adult, sometimes take a tooth brushing short cut on my own teeth, there is no way I can just hand the boys their brushes and expect them to do an adequate job. Sucking the toothbrush and swallowing the toothpaste does not mean Job Done.
Plus, dentists advise that kids under 8 years of age should be supervised in the teeth brushing department. It’s the back ones you see – the molars up high. I understand that. I accept that. I am living that.
I know as parents we are not supposed to wish our kids’ lives away. But show me a parent who doesn’t do that. The pesky little things at least.
Once upon a time BC (Before Childer) these were the things I used to look forward to:
Ø Bank holiday weekends.
Ø Starting a new job.
Ø Going on holidays.
Ø Finding our first apartment.
Ø Going on honeymoon
Ø Coming home from honeymoon and getting back to normal
Ø Going to the cinema
Ø Going for a meal
Ø Going shopping. For anything
These are the things I look forward to now:
Ø My kids being able to brush their teeth all by themselves, getting into the car and doing up their belts all by themselves, all of them being able to dress themselves. Ditto putting on their own shoes, on the right feet. And their coats.
Ø A nice cup of tea.
Ø A lie on.
Ø Grocery shopping. By myself.
Ø 8pm onwards when they are all in bed.
Ø A shower. By myself.
Ø More holidays
Ø Having some disposable income at the end of the month
Ø Having an income in order to have disposable money left at the end of the month
Ø Making a meal that I actually want to eat.
Ah lookit, I could go on forever here.
What do you look forward to?
In honour of International Delurking Week, (which was 6th – 13th January this year. Better late than never) I invite you to leave a comment below. Go on. You know you want to!
Don’t feel too out of the loop. Up until recently I had (a) had never heard of it before either and (b) didn’t have a clue what it meant.
Basically it is an opportunity for you to reply to a request or a brazen invitation from bloggers the world over to invite their silent readers, the Lurkers out there, (you!) to announce your presence and leave a comment at the end of a blog post.
So go on then! What are you waiting for? Who are you and what do you want from me?????
Seriously, I would love to cyber meet all of you who have been kind enough to tune in on a regular basis and read my disjointed meanderings.
On you go then. Don’t let me keep you any longer.
Well you know that I'm not a silent Lurker!!! I'm a full on advocate of your blog!! It brings a smile tomy face!! Keep up the good work!ReplyDelete
Thank you, Mz. Henry! Much appreciated!!Delete
My 4-year-old is still using the baby toothpaste. I let her, because it means she can swallow it so I don't even have to have her over the sink when I grab her and swoosh the toothbrush around her wee choppers.ReplyDelete
Yes (Not) Maud. We use the bubblegum flavour here. They don't know how lucky they are because they will never taste real bubblegum if it has anything to do with me. Except of course, on the occasions where they disappear under the tables in restaurants to sample the stuff that horrible people place there. YUK!!!Delete
Snap snap snap - brushing teeth is my pet hate - secretly glad my nine month old doesn't have any gnashers yet! Keep up the good work wonderful wagon!ReplyDelete
Many thanks. I find the Smallest Boy is the hardest one to "brush"Delete
Nose wiping, teeth brushing, bum wiping, EATING! Cannot wait for them to do it all themselves. I'm a lurker who loves your posts. You write brilliantly. I'm always quoting you to my hubbie so he knows the frustrations of everyday life! I've three under three. All girls. LisaReplyDelete
Thank you, Lisa. Lovely to have you on board. Glad you're up for letting the menfolk in on the hardship of parenting. Three little wimmin under three. Wow!! Kudos!Delete
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I too have a problem with my niece before. It is really hard to make her brush. Good think i found out something the she loves that make her brush her teeth.- twoothtimer.comReplyDelete